Big Mac fail

Posted on December 23, 2022 by Burnt My Fingers
Big Mac Stock

You can’t fix stupid. Stock Big Mac has no mustard nor top condiment of any kind.

Emboldened by the interest in our In-N-Out experience, we did another burger test. The McDonald’s app had a deal to buy one Big Mac, get one free. We ordered one standard and the second customized with extra onions, extra pickles and mustard instead of sauce. Or did we?

It turns out mustard is not among the options to be added to the clown’s signature burger even though it’s available on other products, like our quite satisfactory modified cheeseburger. So we brought our own yellow mustard as we picked up our mobile order to eat in the car.

Modified Big Mac

Here’s our modified Big Mac before we added the mustard. If there’s extra pickle or onion, we can’t find them.

There was a jingle with the Big Mac ingredients which we can hum without recalling the words, but it was something like “two all beef patties on a sesame bun” with American cheese, shredded lettuce (but not tomato), two pickle slices, a sprinkling of chopped onions and an extra slice of bun. Oh, and there’s the secret sauce which according to a McDonald’s chef includes store-bought mayonnaise, sweet pickle relish and yellow mustard whisked together with vinegar, garlic powder, onion powder and paprika—no ketchup.

Big Mac Mustard

Big Mac with added mustard. Still not palatable.

According to Wikipedia, the Big Mac was invented at a Pittsburgh franchise in 1966 and today “is known worldwide and is often used as a symbol of American capitalism and decadence.” In its stock preparation it’s a grim eating experience because there is no condiment of any kind between the pathetic top patty and the sad toasted bun, plus the food prep people can’t put on lettuce without making a mess.

Would our custom burger be any better? After choking down the stock burger, we added mustard to that top layer and bit into our second sandwich. The mustard did not help. It was overcome by the general blandness of the other ingredients and if extra pickle or onion had been added we couldn’t tell.

In short, the Big Mac is irredeemable. Symbol of American decadence, indeed. Along with brains, it goes on our short list of foods never to eat again.

Big Mac Sauce

Here’s the secret Big Mac sauce. Yum!

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The ultimate In-N-Out cheeseburger

Posted on December 19, 2022 by Burnt My Fingers
Two Cheeseburgers

The ultimate In-N-Out cheeseburger is at left.

To experience the ultimate In-N-Out cheeseburger you need to eat in the facility, vs. ordering to go. The public space is jammed, seating on hard plastic benches is uncomfortable and you have to wait for a table. But the presentation of the food makes it all worthwhile. How come?

For one thing, you will experience your meal as its best self—sizzling patty fresh from the griddle, just-melted cheese, a perfectly toasted bun and the shock of chilled lettuce, tomato and condiments. You will also get to appreciate the artistry of your Burger Chef (remember that video game?) who wraps the burger in paper with its best side showing and then poses it at just the right angle for maximum impact on your first encounter.

I got to eat at the Fisherman’s Wharf In-N-Out multiple times on an extended stay in San Francisco. On my last day I was served the duo of cheeseburgers you see here. You know my order: “double raw onions, mustard instead of sauce, pickles”.  When the store first opened 10 years ago or so, execution was wrong more often than it was right. But thanks to modern point-of-sale software, the kitchen now rarely makes a mistake.

This formula is my attempt to recreate the burgers of my youth in Dallas, specifically at Jack’s Burger House by SMU. In the south we always had mustard; I can’t remember a burger in Dallas without it. Thousand Island dressing, aka “sauce”, is simply ketchup mixed with mayo and a bit of relish, in other words a lazy person’s condiment. Replacing it with God’s honest yellow mustard is a no-brainer.

“Pickles” are also a logical mod because why aren’t they there in the first place? Maybe because we are supposed to be satisfied with the flecks of vegetable in our “sauce”. There appears to be a “pickles” key on the register, making it a popular addition.

In N Out Cheeseburger 1

Almost the ultimate In-N-Out cheeseburger.

But “extra raw onions” is, I admit, open to discussion and interpretation. A thin slice of onion is omnipresent on a Texas burger; you have to ask if you want it removed. Same with the stock In-N-Out burger, but I worry the slice will be too thin hence “extra”.

Which brings me to the pairing you see here. In-N-Out chefs prep their orders one at a time, according to the ticket. There is zero chance the burgers were prepared by two different people. Yet notice how different they are.

The burger on the right in the feature shot, and shown above, is pretty fine. Notice the way the melted cheese coats the patty, and the just-right bit of char on the toasted bun. You can’t see the second onion slice but it’s there, nestled under the first slice at the bottom.

Ultimate Cheeseburger

Ultimate In-N-Out cheeseburger.

But this is the burger that steals my heart, with THREE raw onion slices, oh my. (In fact, looking at the picture now there may even be a fourth slice, in the shadows at the very top.) You can also see the mustard oozing out at right below the bottom slice. This is key to the ultimate In-N-Out experience: something magical happens when the onion juice mingles with the tart vinegar in the yellow mustard. (There’s mustard at the bottom in the other burger as well, if you look closely.)

I can’t imagine what whimsey caused the cook to produce two so different burgers side by side, but I’m glad he did.

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The Hmong Aunties of Angel Cruz Park

Posted on December 9, 2022 by Burnt My Fingers
Angel Cruz Park

Informal market at Angel Cruz Park in Stockton, CA

Angel Cruz Park is a public park in Stockton, CA where a number of Hmong vendors set up each afternoon to sell traditional foods. Some offer pickled veggies and tropical fruits, others set up grills and cook meats over charcoal, and others bring mortar and pestle and prepare fresh papaya salad on the spot. This has been going on for years, apparently with no concern for legalities or permits from the local authorities. Being in the Bay Area with a rental car, I decided to check it out.

Making Papaya Salad

Not the papaya salad vendor I was looking for, but Hmong Facebook group says she is equal to “30 years lady”.

The papaya salad was the main attraction, prepared before my eyes by a woman who started by asking how spicy I wanted it (I successfully communicated a little spicy but not mild) and then proceeded to pound chilis, rice powder and shrimp paste then add mysterious liquids followed by tomato slices, papaya, noodles (an option) and cabbage. The result was perfect and a huge portion was $7. The same lady sold me a grilled lao sausage for $2.

I also picked up a couple of grill sticks (beef stick, $2, chicken wing stick, $1), a pair of fried bananas (2 for $1), a quart of pickled greens ($5) and a nice bunch of fresh Chinese broccoli ($2). Good prices and good eating. Vendors were friendly and did not mind my taking a few pictures since I was buying from them.

Grill Sticks

Beef and chicken sticks grilling.

There is no official schedule but the vendors seem to be in the park every day starting in the early afternoon; a Yelp page says the market begins at 2:30 but everybody was set up and selling when I arrived at 1:30. There was a steady stream of visitors until I left a little before 3.

I had learned about the Angel Cruz vendors through the delightful Our Hmong Table Facebook group (private, but I was admitted quickly when I asked to join). After my visit, I posted a query about the best time to visit with my photo of papaya salad in progress. I mentioned that I had looked for a papaya salad lady who puts up a sign saying she has been coming to the park for 30 years; she was not there on my visit and I wondered if she was ok. The group responded quickly: “The 30years papaya lady is alright. The women in the picture and 30years are about the same in terms of making papaya.” Translation (I love the way Hmong posters express themselves in English): the lady you were looking for just took the day off but don’t worry; the lady you found is just as good as making papaya salad. The commenters also told me some vendors take time off during the cooler months and summer is the best time to visit.

Fried Banana Crossection

Cross section of fried banana… really good.

Stockton, which is actually quite a large city (#11 in CA, #55 in the US according to Wikipedia), has suffered some hard knocks in recent years. It had the nation’s sharpest drop in real estate prices in the recession of 2008, then the city went bankrupt in 2012 because of the declining tax base and also some fiscal mismanagement. More recently the main news has been a serial killer, who has apparently been captured. Yet I found it a positive, vibrant environment. Before vising the park I ate at Mitapheap, a restaurant a few blocks away serving delicious Cambodian food, and I recommend you do the same. On the way out of town I visited the town marina—you can actually navigate a boat here all the way from the bay—and strolled the promenade. I’d consider coming back for an overnight visit and eating more ethnic food.

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Award-winning San Francisco Pizza goes “up in smoke”

Posted on December 7, 2022 by Burnt My Fingers
Jeremy Fish Tony Pizza

Jeremy Fish models Up in Smoke pizza box in its application as a bib. Photo by Jeremy Fish.

On arrival for a few days in San Francisco, we discovered an interesting project. Tony’s Pizzeria Napoletana, perennially ranked as of the world’s best pizzerias, has teamed up with Jeremy Fish for a collaboration called “Up in Smoke”.

Up In Smoke Pizza

Up in Smoke Pizza

Order Tony’s $30 “Up in Smoke” pizza with smoked mozzarella, millionaire’s bacon, pizzuti tomato, basil, volcano salt and Chris Cosentino umami spice, all on a wood-fired multigrain crust; get a Fish-designed carry out box that features stoner art with a top that can be used as a bib. Stop by North Beach Pipeline down the street and you can get “Tony’s Pizza Joint”, a one-gram pre-roll ($15) filled with Mother’s Milk cannabis and dipped in kief, a form of cannabis hash, in a container also designed by Fish. Do both and get a $5 discount when you present your box at Pipeline or show your doobie at Tony’s, which is what we did.

Up in Smoke Preroll

Up in Smoke Preroll

We added a wrinkle which made us glad we ordered in person, vs on the phone: we wanted the pizza in a plain box, with the art box on the side as it were. The cooks at Tony’s put up a bit of resistance because after all, why would you give somebody an empty pizza box? But a conversation with the counter guy, pointing out that Jeremy Fish hails from our hometown in Saratoga Springs NY and we wanted to preserve his artwork, turned the tide. (We also agreed to pay 55 cents for an extra pizza box.)

Pizza Box Top

Top cover of pizza box.

Fish, who now lives around the corner from Tony’s in North Beach, described the collaboration as a way to support small businesses in a tough economic environment and a changing neighborhood. He said he hopes it will bring more people into the neighborhood, which has struggled with a lack of tourism during the pandemic. “Do me a big favor and come out and smoke a doobie, enjoy a pizza and celebrate my neighborhood,” Fish said. “Help support this side of the city while tourism is a little bit fractured.”

Pizza Washington Park

Jeremy Fish suggests you enjoy your pizza and doobie in Washington Park, across the street from Tony’s.

We did. The pizza was enjoyable and harmonious with a definite smokiness plus a sweet element, maybe the oil from the candied bacon. The crust had wonderful chew and an interesting oven treatment, with char on top and bottom but no browning at all. This is Tony’s “California” style, baked in a 900-degree wood fired oven which is one of 7 in the place, each designed for a specific pizza category (and in some cases for a specific form factor).

While waiting for our order, we watched the action in the kitchen, including a guy who was twirling a towel on his fingertip, practice for tossing a pizza, and perused the blackboard menu above us.

Pizza Box Bottom

Bottom of Up in Smoke pizza box has a handy walking map of the neighborhood.

$30 is a bit steep for an individual pizza in our opinion, but the New Yorker at $34 for a 16 inch cheese and sausage combo is a much better value—and a Gold Medal winner too. We also had our eye on the Traditional Italian Beef Sandwich, Chicago-Style. Then we saw a guy in the kitchen making exactly that sandwich. He pulled two very generous puffy sub rolls out of the oven, each of them sliced in half and butterflied before firing. He layered on beef and jus then spooned on some chopped spicy veggies followed by an extra spoonful of jus. He closed the sandwich, pressed it for a neat fit and then brushed on something (a bit of melted butter or warmed olive oil?), a sprinkling of salt and some garnish, maybe chopped parsley. We will be going back for that sandwich.

IF YOU GO: they ordered a print run of 5000 for the project, and thus far they have gone through maybe 750 pizza boxes according to the counter guy at Tony’s.. So this will be around for a while, if you want to check it out.

Tony’s Coal Fired Pizza and Slice House

📍1556 Stockton St.
☎️ (415) 835-9888
🔗 tonyscoalfired.com

North Beach Pipeline 

📍1335 Grant Ave.
🔗 northbeachpipeline.com

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Recipe: Kenji’s Roasted Cauliflower

Posted on December 2, 2022 by Burnt My Fingers
Kenji Roasted Cauliflower

Kenji’s Roasted Cauliflower.

Kenji Lopez-Alt may be a bit of a trickster, but Kenji’s Roasted Cauliflower is solid. The key is to cut the head of cauliflower into large chunks and roast at high heat so it is crispy on the outside, tender in the middle. Makes 4-6 servings.

Ingredients:
1 head cauliflower
Extra virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Roasted Cauliflower Salad

Kenji’s roasted cauliflower salad with pine nuts and raisins.

Method: preheat oven to 500 degrees. Cut the head of cauliflower into large chunks, each of which would make a very generous mouthful on the end of a form. Toss with olive oil and salt and pepper to taste. Distribute the pieces on a sheet pan in one layer so they are not touching one another. Roast for 20 minutes or until the tops are nicely crisped and brown, then turn over and roast another 20 minutes. Serve as-is as a side dish, or add other ingredients and spices as desired for a hot or cold dish such as Kenji’s cauliflower salad with pine nuts and raisins.

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How to build a Thanksgiving leftovers sandwich

Posted on November 30, 2022 by Burnt My Fingers
Thaniksgiving leftovers sandwich

Thanksgiving leftovers sandwich, up close and personal.


(Apologies for being late with this post. If you’re out of Thanksgiving leftovers, bookmark this post for next year.) Our Thanksgiving leftovers sandwich follows a precise formula to get the ideal balance of textures and sweet/savory flavors. We verified this by improvising at a friend’s house the day after the holiday and, with key ingredients missing, it was a big disappointment. Here’s the best way to build a Thanksgiving leftovers sandwich.

The bread should be dense enough to hold up to the ingredients, yet with a soft crumb. Our bread machine basic white bread is just right. This year it was even better because we used some whey, left over from making yoghurt, as the liquid. Slice it thin; it should support the other ingredients, not overpower them. Toast it lightly if you wish.

Turkey Sandwich Dressing

With that sandwich you’ll want some dressing, of course, heated up with gravy. Add more cranberry sauce if you like.

The Durkee’s Famous Sauce goes on next. Generously slather it on both slices of bread, all the way to the edges. If you’re like us and only use Durkee’s at Thanksgiving, you can afford to be extravagant.

The turkey should be breast meat, sliced across the grain so it doesn’t resist when you bite into it. We love dark meat at the Thanksgiving table, but it’s too sinewy to be easy to eat on a sandwich. Slice it thin and build a double layer on one slice of bread, on top of the Durkee’s.

Leftover wilted salad goes on next. It’s not only thrifty but practical to find a way to save your leftover greens from the big meal. You want them to lie flat and not interfere with the other ingredients, rather than being crunchy and poking out. If you don’t have wilted salad, toss salad greens with a little vinaigrette for the same effect.

Cranberry sauce goes on last, spread on the other slice of bread. Create a smooth layer that goes all the way to the edges of the bread. Homemade sauce works better for this because it is softer than sauce out of the can so easier to spread.

And now… place the top slice over the bottom, press it a bit with your hands to stabilize the ingredients, and slice in half; this sandwich is way to big to eat without slicing. Take that first bite and you’ll be in turkey heaven,

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Recipe: Gerald Ramsey’s Chess Pie

Posted on November 25, 2022 by Burnt My Fingers
Gerald Ramsey Chess Pie

Gerald Ramey’s Chess Pie.

Gerald Ramsey’s Chess Pie is the version featured in his Morning Noon and Night Cookbook and presumably served in the tea room at SMU in the olden days. It is different from Mom’s Chess Pie in several ways: more eggs, more solids for a thicker consistency, and lemon juice instead of vinegar. Try them both and see which you like better. Makes 1 9-inch pie.

Ingredients:
9 inch basic pie crust, unbaked
2 c sugar
5 eggs, beaten
1 ¼ T cornmeal (white if you have it)
1 ½ T pastry flour or all purpose flour
pinch of salt
2 t vanilla extract
1 ½ t lemon juice
½ c melted butter

Gerald Ramsey Chess Pie

The large number of eggs caused the top to crack, similar to a fallen soufflé. But it made for an interesting top layer on the sliced pie.

Method: preheat oven to 300 degrees. In a mixing bowl, combine sugar, cornmeal, flour and salt. Gradually beat in eggs. Add other ingredients and beat 3-5 minutes until all combined. Pour into unbaked pie crust and bake 1 to 1 ½ hours till the filling is set. Cool before slicing and serving.

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It’s turkey time!

Posted on November 21, 2022 by Burnt My Fingers
2017 Turkey

Follow our recommendations, and your first Thanksgiving turkey can look like this!

Welcome to another Thanksgiving, and another BMF Thanksgiving clips post. We moved our 16 pound turkey from the freezer to the refrigerator on Saturday, expecting it to thaw by Wednesday so we can brine it and then put in the oven Thursday morning. (If this happens to be your first time Thanksgiving turkey, this post is filled with tips to maximize your success.)

Our brine follows the Chez Panisse formula: 2 ½ gallons cold water, 2 c Kosher salt, 1 c sugar. We also throw in a few bay leaves, a few cloves of garlic and a scoop of juniper berries. Mix all this up in your bucket with a big spoon like a witch uses. Then extract the packets of innards from the turkey (there might be more than one, and in more than one spot), drain any liquid inside the bird, and dunk it in the brine to leave overnight in a cool spot, and ideally 24 hours. Put it in neck first, then flip it halfway through. Pro tip: the turkey doesn’t have to be completely defrosted to start marinating, as long as you can reach your hand and get those bags of parts. In fact, a partially frozen bird will insure your brine stays at a food-safe temperature.

We’ve already made our bread machine stuffing and it is getting good and stale so it will be ready to mix up using this recipe (though we’ll cut back on the sage since it’s already baked into the bread).

Chess Pie

Mom’s Chess Pie… mmm.

We’ll likely make cranberry sauce using the directions on the Ocean Spray package, which was a landslide winner in our cranberry sauce taste test, though we’ll also pick up a can for backup. For sides we might mix things up a bit, and make some Highland Park Squash Casserole but substitute a winter squash for the yellow squash. Recipe modification: we’ll cut the winter squash in half, scoop out the seeds and rub butter on the surface, then bake in a 350 degree oven until just tender, maybe 30 minutes. Then we’ll scoop out the flesh and follow the Highland Park recipe from that point. And we just might bake some Mom’s Chess Pie instead of pumpkin just because it’s so good.

On Friday we’ll be fixing sandwiches with the leftover turkey, leftover wilted lettuce salad, cranberry sauce and good old Durkee’s Famous Sauce replacing mayo. We laid in a supply of Durkee’s last year; if you can’t find locally (and you probably can’t) an order today, Monday, should get you a two pack or, why not, the economical 12 pack for Wednesday delivery before the holiday. This will be served with leftover stuffing and gravy at a neighborhood potluck.

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Recipe: Bagel for One

Posted on November 19, 2022 by Burnt My Fingers
Bagel for One

Bagel for One.

Our Bagel for One recipe is stolen outright from jenniabs3 on TikTok, with just a couple of modifications in technique. If you think making just one bagel is overly indulgent, just imagine the satisfaction of mixing the dough with your own hands, watching it grow, then enjoying it piping hot out of the oven half an hour later. We were baking No-Fuss Focaccia at the same time so didn’t feel guilty about firing up the oven for one bagel; of course you could also multiply the recipe or cook the single in a toaster oven or air fryer.

Ingredients:
1 t instant dry yeast
1 t brown sugar
½ c warm water
120g (a little less than a cup) all purpose flour
¼ t Kosher salt
2 T honey
Your choice of fillings
Your choice of toppings
Egg wash made from an egg white or whole egg (if adding topping)

Bagel Dough

Bagel dough after shaping.

Method: mix the yeast and brown sugar with the water and wait a few minutes for the yeast to bloom. Mix the flour and salt and any desired fillings (such as dried or fresh blueberries, for example) in a small bowl, add the yeast water, and knead in the bowl for a couple of minutes until the dough becomes more cohesive. Cover with a towel and let rise 1 hour or until doubled in size. Shape with your hands into a ball then flatten and poke a hole in the middle and shape into a bagel.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Bring a quart of water to the boil in a pot just big enough to hold the bagel, along with 2 T honey. Boil for 1 minute on each side for a slightly chewy bagel; adjust the time up or down with less boiling = more tender, less chewy. Drain and then transfer to a piece of parchment paper or a Silpat on a sheet pan or cookie sheet. If using topping (we topped ours with Trader Joe’s Everything But the Bagel Seasoning) brush the top of the bagel with egg wash to hold it in place, then apply seeds or other topping generously. Bake 30 minutes or until the top is lightly browned but not yet dark. Serve hot for best results.

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Recipe: No-Fuss Focaccia

Posted on November 15, 2022 by Burnt My Fingers
No Fuss Focaccia

No Fuss Focaccia.

No-Fuss Focaccia is a light modification of the recipe of the same name from King Arthur Flour. It’s perfect when you crave a savory flatbread but don’t have the time or patience to manage a long ferment. Makes one 10×13 focaccia, about a dozen servings.

Recipe:
420 g all purpose flour
320 g warm water
1 T (not a misprint) instant dry yeast
1 ½ t salt
3 T olive oil, plus additional for greasing pan and topping
1 T dried rosemary or 2 T fresh rosemary leaves, optional*
Zata’ar or other dried herb for topping, optional

Method: line a 10×13 inch baking pan with parchment paper**, including the sides. Mix flour, water, salt, yeast, optional herbs and 3 T oil in a bowl, first with a spoon then with your hands, until the dough forms a cohesive mass and no streaks of white flour remain. Cover and rest 1 hour or until doubled in bulk. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Focaccia Parchment Paper

Lining the pan with parchment paper means no-fuss cleanup.

Pour 2 T or so additional olive oil in the bottom of the pan, on top of the parchment paper, and spread it to the edges with your hands. Pour in the very soft dough and let it rest for a few minutes, then push out the dough with your hands to completely fill the pan. Brush on a little olive oil if you like and add zata’ar or another topping if you like. Bake 35 minutes, checking after 25 minutes, until the top of the bread is lightly browned and the bottom is a nice golden brown. Flip out onto a rack and cool before slicing.

*Adding rosemary to the dough will approximate the famous herbal slab sold at Acme Bakery in San Francisco.
**This isn’t called for in the King Arthur recipe but if you truly want no-fuss focaccia you shouldn’t have to wash the pan, right?

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