Recipe: Cheese Board Green Hot Sauce

Cheese Board Green Hot Sauce

Cheese Board Green Hot Sauce, our rendition.

My friend Steve introduced me to the Cheese Board Green Hot Sauce on my recent trip to SF, which is a problem because now I’m gone and I must have more. It’s akin to our schug (aka zhoug) but with a mystery component that involves citrus. Makes about 1 c.

Ingredients:
2 c+ cilantro, finely packed, stems ok
3 cloves garlic, peeled
Chile peppers to your liking, serrano or jalapeño*
¼ c extra virgin olive oil
¼ c lemon juice
¼ c lime juice
2 T rice vinegar
1 T Dijon mustard
1 t sugar
½ t Kosher salt

Cheese Board Green Hot Sauce Label

The label on the Cheese Board product is a little vague as to ingredients.

Method: pulse all item in blender or food processor till thoroughly incorporated. Season overnight then taste. Add more salt, chili, citrus as need. Serve as a spicy condiment with just about anything.

Papa Chulo Hot Sauce

At one time the product was called Papa Chulo Green Salsa, and was available from a dispenser in CB’s cafe. Photo courtesy sepcooks.

*How hot do you want it? The original has a definite kick, but the heat does not overpower other ingredients. The jalapeños I’ve purchased in recent years have been very mild; I used two whole ones, with some of the seeds, and would consider adding more.

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Recipe: Creamy Artichoke Pasta

Creamy Artichoke Pasta

Creamy Artichoke Pasta

Taverna Novo, a rustic Italian restaurant in my home town, makes a delicious creamy artichoke pasta. Here is my take on it, and it’s pretty good. The secret is frozen artichoke hearts, from our friends at Trader Joe’s. Makes 2-3 main dish servings.

Ingredients:
12-oz package frozen artichoke hearts, thawed and drained
¼ c extra virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste
Zest from one lemon, about 1 t, and juice from that lemon, about 1 T
½ c grated Parmesan cheese
1 T butter
2 c cooked pasta, from about 12 oz dry
½ c heavy cream

Method: heat oven to 400 degrees. Pat the artichokes dry and place in the middle of a silpat or parchment sheet on a quarter sheet pan, and gently toss with a little of the olive oil and salt and pepper to taste. Spread the artichokes out on the pan and roast till they begin to crisp and brown, about 20 minutes. Turn the artichokes and continue cooking until the other side picks up a bit of color, an additional 10-20 minutes. Reserve.

Trader Joe Artichoke Hearts

Trader Joe’s frozen artichoke hearts. Photo courtesy Trader Joe’s Reviews.

Cook and drain the pasta (I used fettuccini; Taverna Novo uses penne). Melt the butter in a saucepan and add remaining oil. Add cooked pasta, lemon, lemon zest and parmesan and toss until well heated. Add cream and toss again, taking care that the cream does not get too hot and curdle. Just before serving, add about half the artichokes and toss with the pasta. Portion out onto plates or transfer to a serving bowl. Garnish with the remaining artichokes.

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Recipe: Improved Oyster Sauce

Improved Oyster Sauce

Cook improved oyster sauce till it coats a spoon, like this.

If you’ve simply drizzled oyster sauce straight out of the bottle on your gai lan (chinese broccoli) and been disappointed with the results, then it’s time for our Improved Oyster Sauce. Adapted with a couple of tweaks from the excellent recipetineats blog. Makes ½ cup, enough to garnish a bunch of gai lan.

Ingredients:
1 t cornstarch
6 T water
1 T oyster sauce
1 t dark soy sauce, or 2 t “regular” (eg Kikkoman) soy sauce
1 T Shaoxing Chinese cooking wine
1 t sesame oil
2 t neutral vegetable oil
½ t sugar
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
1 t ginger, grated

Oyster Sauce Veggies

Overdone Chinese veggies are still good when served with improved oyster sauce.

Method: mix cornstarch with a little water in a saucepan over low heat; stir until well blended. Add other ingredients and cook, stirring constantly, till sauce is thickened. Serve over gas lan or other Chinese steamed greens.

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Big Mac fail

Big Mac Stock

You can’t fix stupid. Stock Big Mac has no mustard nor top condiment of any kind.

Emboldened by the interest in our In-N-Out experience, we did another burger test. The McDonald’s app had a deal to buy one Big Mac, get one free. We ordered one standard and the second customized with extra onions, extra pickles and mustard instead of sauce. Or did we?

It turns out mustard is not among the options to be added to the clown’s signature burger even though it’s available on other products, like our quite satisfactory modified cheeseburger. So we brought our own yellow mustard as we picked up our mobile order to eat in the car.

Modified Big Mac

Here’s our modified Big Mac before we added the mustard. If there’s extra pickle or onion, we can’t find them.

There was a jingle with the Big Mac ingredients which we can hum without recalling the words, but it was something like “two all beef patties on a sesame bun” with American cheese, shredded lettuce (but not tomato), two pickle slices, a sprinkling of chopped onions and an extra slice of bun. Oh, and there’s the secret sauce which according to a McDonald’s chef includes store-bought mayonnaise, sweet pickle relish and yellow mustard whisked together with vinegar, garlic powder, onion powder and paprika—no ketchup.

Big Mac Mustard

Big Mac with added mustard. Still not palatable.

According to Wikipedia, the Big Mac was invented at a Pittsburgh franchise in 1966 and today “is known worldwide and is often used as a symbol of American capitalism and decadence.” In its stock preparation it’s a grim eating experience because there is no condiment of any kind between the pathetic top patty and the sad toasted bun, plus the food prep people can’t put on lettuce without making a mess.

Would our custom burger be any better? After choking down the stock burger, we added mustard to that top layer and bit into our second sandwich. The mustard did not help. It was overcome by the general blandness of the other ingredients and if extra pickle or onion had been added we couldn’t tell.

In short, the Big Mac is irredeemable. Symbol of American decadence, indeed. Along with brains, it goes on our short list of foods never to eat again.

Big Mac Sauce

Here’s the secret Big Mac sauce. Yum!

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The ultimate In-N-Out cheeseburger

Two Cheeseburgers

The ultimate In-N-Out cheeseburger is at left.

To experience the ultimate In-N-Out cheeseburger you need to eat in the facility, vs. ordering to go. The public space is jammed, seating on hard plastic benches is uncomfortable and you have to wait for a table. But the presentation of the food makes it all worthwhile. How come?

For one thing, you will experience your meal as its best self—sizzling patty fresh from the griddle, just-melted cheese, a perfectly toasted bun and the shock of chilled lettuce, tomato and condiments. You will also get to appreciate the artistry of your Burger Chef (remember that video game?) who wraps the burger in paper with its best side showing and then poses it at just the right angle for maximum impact on your first encounter.

I got to eat at the Fisherman’s Wharf In-N-Out multiple times on an extended stay in San Francisco. On my last day I was served the duo of cheeseburgers you see here. You know my order: “double raw onions, mustard instead of sauce, pickles”.  When the store first opened 10 years ago or so, execution was wrong more often than it was right. But thanks to modern point-of-sale software, the kitchen now rarely makes a mistake.

This formula is my attempt to recreate the burgers of my youth in Dallas, specifically at Jack’s Burger House by SMU. In the south we always had mustard; I can’t remember a burger in Dallas without it. Thousand Island dressing, aka “sauce”, is simply ketchup mixed with mayo and a bit of relish, in other words a lazy person’s condiment. Replacing it with God’s honest yellow mustard is a no-brainer.

“Pickles” are also a logical mod because why aren’t they there in the first place? Maybe because we are supposed to be satisfied with the flecks of vegetable in our “sauce”. There appears to be a “pickles” key on the register, making it a popular addition.

In N Out Cheeseburger 1

Almost the ultimate In-N-Out cheeseburger.

But “extra raw onions” is, I admit, open to discussion and interpretation. A thin slice of onion is omnipresent on a Texas burger; you have to ask if you want it removed. Same with the stock In-N-Out burger, but I worry the slice will be too thin hence “extra”.

Which brings me to the pairing you see here. In-N-Out chefs prep their orders one at a time, according to the ticket. There is zero chance the burgers were prepared by two different people. Yet notice how different they are.

The burger on the right in the feature shot, and shown above, is pretty fine. Notice the way the melted cheese coats the patty, and the just-right bit of char on the toasted bun. You can’t see the second onion slice but it’s there, nestled under the first slice at the bottom.

Ultimate Cheeseburger

Ultimate In-N-Out cheeseburger.

But this is the burger that steals my heart, with THREE raw onion slices, oh my. (In fact, looking at the picture now there may even be a fourth slice, in the shadows at the very top.) You can also see the mustard oozing out at right below the bottom slice. This is key to the ultimate In-N-Out experience: something magical happens when the onion juice mingles with the tart vinegar in the yellow mustard. (There’s mustard at the bottom in the other burger as well, if you look closely.)

I can’t imagine what whimsey caused the cook to produce two so different burgers side by side, but I’m glad he did.

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The Hmong Aunties of Angel Cruz Park

Angel Cruz Park

Informal market at Angel Cruz Park in Stockton, CA

Angel Cruz Park is a public park in Stockton, CA where a number of Hmong vendors set up each afternoon to sell traditional foods. Some offer pickled veggies and tropical fruits, others set up grills and cook meats over charcoal, and others bring mortar and pestle and prepare fresh papaya salad on the spot. This has been going on for years, apparently with no concern for legalities or permits from the local authorities. Being in the Bay Area with a rental car, I decided to check it out.

Making Papaya Salad

Not the papaya salad vendor I was looking for, but Hmong Facebook group says she is equal to “30 years lady”.

The papaya salad was the main attraction, prepared before my eyes by a woman who started by asking how spicy I wanted it (I successfully communicated a little spicy but not mild) and then proceeded to pound chilis, rice powder and shrimp paste then add mysterious liquids followed by tomato slices, papaya, noodles (an option) and cabbage. The result was perfect and a huge portion was $7. The same lady sold me a grilled lao sausage for $2.

I also picked up a couple of grill sticks (beef stick, $2, chicken wing stick, $1), a pair of fried bananas (2 for $1), a quart of pickled greens ($5) and a nice bunch of fresh Chinese broccoli ($2). Good prices and good eating. Vendors were friendly and did not mind my taking a few pictures since I was buying from them.

Grill Sticks

Beef and chicken sticks grilling.

There is no official schedule but the vendors seem to be in the park every day starting in the early afternoon; a Yelp page says the market begins at 2:30 but everybody was set up and selling when I arrived at 1:30. There was a steady stream of visitors until I left a little before 3.

I had learned about the Angel Cruz vendors through the delightful Our Hmong Table Facebook group (private, but I was admitted quickly when I asked to join). After my visit, I posted a query about the best time to visit with my photo of papaya salad in progress. I mentioned that I had looked for a papaya salad lady who puts up a sign saying she has been coming to the park for 30 years; she was not there on my visit and I wondered if she was ok. The group responded quickly: “The 30years papaya lady is alright. The women in the picture and 30years are about the same in terms of making papaya.” Translation (I love the way Hmong posters express themselves in English): the lady you were looking for just took the day off but don’t worry; the lady you found is just as good as making papaya salad. The commenters also told me some vendors take time off during the cooler months and summer is the best time to visit.

Fried Banana Crossection

Cross section of fried banana… really good.

Stockton, which is actually quite a large city (#11 in CA, #55 in the US according to Wikipedia), has suffered some hard knocks in recent years. It had the nation’s sharpest drop in real estate prices in the recession of 2008, then the city went bankrupt in 2012 because of the declining tax base and also some fiscal mismanagement. More recently the main news has been a serial killer, who has apparently been captured. Yet I found it a positive, vibrant environment. Before vising the park I ate at Mitapheap, a restaurant a few blocks away serving delicious Cambodian food, and I recommend you do the same. On the way out of town I visited the town marina—you can actually navigate a boat here all the way from the bay—and strolled the promenade. I’d consider coming back for an overnight visit and eating more ethnic food.

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Award-winning San Francisco Pizza goes “up in smoke”

Jeremy Fish Tony Pizza

Jeremy Fish models Up in Smoke pizza box in its application as a bib. Photo by Jeremy Fish.

On arrival for a few days in San Francisco, we discovered an interesting project. Tony’s Pizzeria Napoletana, perennially ranked as of the world’s best pizzerias, has teamed up with Jeremy Fish for a collaboration called “Up in Smoke”.

Up In Smoke Pizza

Up in Smoke Pizza

Order Tony’s $30 “Up in Smoke” pizza with smoked mozzarella, millionaire’s bacon, pizzuti tomato, basil, volcano salt and Chris Cosentino umami spice, all on a wood-fired multigrain crust; get a Fish-designed carry out box that features stoner art with a top that can be used as a bib. Stop by North Beach Pipeline down the street and you can get “Tony’s Pizza Joint”, a one-gram pre-roll ($15) filled with Mother’s Milk cannabis and dipped in kief, a form of cannabis hash, in a container also designed by Fish. Do both and get a $5 discount when you present your box at Pipeline or show your doobie at Tony’s, which is what we did.

Up in Smoke Preroll

Up in Smoke Preroll

We added a wrinkle which made us glad we ordered in person, vs on the phone: we wanted the pizza in a plain box, with the art box on the side as it were. The cooks at Tony’s put up a bit of resistance because after all, why would you give somebody an empty pizza box? But a conversation with the counter guy, pointing out that Jeremy Fish hails from our hometown in Saratoga Springs NY and we wanted to preserve his artwork, turned the tide. (We also agreed to pay 55 cents for an extra pizza box.)

Pizza Box Top

Top cover of pizza box.

Fish, who now lives around the corner from Tony’s in North Beach, described the collaboration as a way to support small businesses in a tough economic environment and a changing neighborhood. He said he hopes it will bring more people into the neighborhood, which has struggled with a lack of tourism during the pandemic. “Do me a big favor and come out and smoke a doobie, enjoy a pizza and celebrate my neighborhood,” Fish said. “Help support this side of the city while tourism is a little bit fractured.”

Pizza Washington Park

Jeremy Fish suggests you enjoy your pizza and doobie in Washington Park, across the street from Tony’s.

We did. The pizza was enjoyable and harmonious with a definite smokiness plus a sweet element, maybe the oil from the candied bacon. The crust had wonderful chew and an interesting oven treatment, with char on top and bottom but no browning at all. This is Tony’s “California” style, baked in a 900-degree wood fired oven which is one of 7 in the place, each designed for a specific pizza category (and in some cases for a specific form factor).

While waiting for our order, we watched the action in the kitchen, including a guy who was twirling a towel on his fingertip, practice for tossing a pizza, and perused the blackboard menu above us.

Pizza Box Bottom

Bottom of Up in Smoke pizza box has a handy walking map of the neighborhood.

$30 is a bit steep for an individual pizza in our opinion, but the New Yorker at $34 for a 16 inch cheese and sausage combo is a much better value—and a Gold Medal winner too. We also had our eye on the Traditional Italian Beef Sandwich, Chicago-Style. Then we saw a guy in the kitchen making exactly that sandwich. He pulled two very generous puffy sub rolls out of the oven, each of them sliced in half and butterflied before firing. He layered on beef and jus then spooned on some chopped spicy veggies followed by an extra spoonful of jus. He closed the sandwich, pressed it for a neat fit and then brushed on something (a bit of melted butter or warmed olive oil?), a sprinkling of salt and some garnish, maybe chopped parsley. We will be going back for that sandwich.

IF YOU GO: they ordered a print run of 5000 for the project, and thus far they have gone through maybe 750 pizza boxes according to the counter guy at Tony’s.. So this will be around for a while, if you want to check it out.

Tony’s Coal Fired Pizza and Slice House

📍1556 Stockton St.
☎️ (415) 835-9888
🔗 tonyscoalfired.com

North Beach Pipeline 

📍1335 Grant Ave.
🔗 northbeachpipeline.com

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Recipe: Kenji’s Roasted Cauliflower

Kenji Roasted Cauliflower

Kenji’s Roasted Cauliflower.

Kenji Lopez-Alt may be a bit of a trickster, but Kenji’s Roasted Cauliflower is solid. The key is to cut the head of cauliflower into large chunks and roast at high heat so it is crispy on the outside, tender in the middle. Makes 4-6 servings.

Ingredients:
1 head cauliflower
Extra virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Roasted Cauliflower Salad

Kenji’s roasted cauliflower salad with pine nuts and raisins.

Method: preheat oven to 500 degrees. Cut the head of cauliflower into large chunks, each of which would make a very generous mouthful on the end of a form. Toss with olive oil and salt and pepper to taste. Distribute the pieces on a sheet pan in one layer so they are not touching one another. Roast for 20 minutes or until the tops are nicely crisped and brown, then turn over and roast another 20 minutes. Serve as-is as a side dish, or add other ingredients and spices as desired for a hot or cold dish such as Kenji’s cauliflower salad with pine nuts and raisins.

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How to build a Thanksgiving leftovers sandwich

Thaniksgiving leftovers sandwich

Thanksgiving leftovers sandwich, up close and personal.


(Apologies for being late with this post. If you’re out of Thanksgiving leftovers, bookmark this post for next year.) Our Thanksgiving leftovers sandwich follows a precise formula to get the ideal balance of textures and sweet/savory flavors. We verified this by improvising at a friend’s house the day after the holiday and, with key ingredients missing, it was a big disappointment. Here’s the best way to build a Thanksgiving leftovers sandwich.

The bread should be dense enough to hold up to the ingredients, yet with a soft crumb. Our bread machine basic white bread is just right. This year it was even better because we used some whey, left over from making yoghurt, as the liquid. Slice it thin; it should support the other ingredients, not overpower them. Toast it lightly if you wish.

Turkey Sandwich Dressing

With that sandwich you’ll want some dressing, of course, heated up with gravy. Add more cranberry sauce if you like.

The Durkee’s Famous Sauce goes on next. Generously slather it on both slices of bread, all the way to the edges. If you’re like us and only use Durkee’s at Thanksgiving, you can afford to be extravagant.

The turkey should be breast meat, sliced across the grain so it doesn’t resist when you bite into it. We love dark meat at the Thanksgiving table, but it’s too sinewy to be easy to eat on a sandwich. Slice it thin and build a double layer on one slice of bread, on top of the Durkee’s.

Leftover wilted salad goes on next. It’s not only thrifty but practical to find a way to save your leftover greens from the big meal. You want them to lie flat and not interfere with the other ingredients, rather than being crunchy and poking out. If you don’t have wilted salad, toss salad greens with a little vinaigrette for the same effect.

Cranberry sauce goes on last, spread on the other slice of bread. Create a smooth layer that goes all the way to the edges of the bread. Homemade sauce works better for this because it is softer than sauce out of the can so easier to spread.

And now… place the top slice over the bottom, press it a bit with your hands to stabilize the ingredients, and slice in half; this sandwich is way to big to eat without slicing. Take that first bite and you’ll be in turkey heaven,

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Recipe: Gerald Ramsey’s Chess Pie

Gerald Ramsey Chess Pie

Gerald Ramey’s Chess Pie.

Gerald Ramsey’s Chess Pie is the version featured in his Morning Noon and Night Cookbook and presumably served in the tea room at SMU in the olden days. It is different from Mom’s Chess Pie in several ways: more eggs, more solids for a thicker consistency, and lemon juice instead of vinegar. Try them both and see which you like better. Makes 1 9-inch pie.

Ingredients:
9 inch basic pie crust, unbaked
2 c sugar
5 eggs, beaten
1 ¼ T cornmeal (white if you have it)
1 ½ T pastry flour or all purpose flour
pinch of salt
2 t vanilla extract
1 ½ t lemon juice
½ c melted butter

Gerald Ramsey Chess Pie

The large number of eggs caused the top to crack, similar to a fallen soufflé. But it made for an interesting top layer on the sliced pie.

Method preheat oven to 300 degrees. In a mixing bowl, combine sugar, cornmeal, flour and salt. Gradually beat in eggs. Add other ingredients and beat 3-5 minutes until all combined. Pour into unbaked pie crust and bake 1 to 1 ½ hours till the filling is set. Cool before slicking and serving.

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