Amazon thinks we love Durkee’s a bit TOO much

Do we love Durkee’s Sauce a bit more than is appropriate? Amazon.com seems to think so. It’s true that we ordered a three-pack of Durkee’s on Thanksgiving Eve when we discovered we were in danger of running out, and it did indeed arrive in time for sandwiches Friday morning. We were then invited (by the third-party seller) to submit a review, which we did as follows:

Durkee’s to the rescue for post-thanksgiving turkey sandwiches!
 
Durkee’s Famous Sauce is essential for day-after-Thanksgiving sandwiches in my house, and we panicked on Wednesday on discovering our jar was almost empty and the local stores have discontinued it. Amazon to the rescue. Package was delivered before lunchtime on Friday and the individual jar were carefully wrapped to prevent breakage.

Sure, it’s more expensive than buying a jar off the grocery shelf if you can find it. But you get what you pay for, and in this case it was worth every penny.

Controversial? We didn’t think so, but here’s what Amazon told us:

Thank you for submitting a customer review on Amazon. After carefully reviewing your submission, your review could not be posted to the website. While we appreciate your time and comments, reviews must adhere to the following guidelines:

A few common issues to keep in mind:

• • Your review should focus on specific features of the product and your experience with it. Feedback on the seller or your shipment experience should be provided at www.amazon.com/feedback.
  • We do not allow profane or obscene content. This applies to adult products too.
  • Advertisements, promotional material or repeated posts that make the same point excessively are considered spam.
  • Please do not include URLs external to Amazon or personally identifiable content in your review.
  • Any attempt to manipulate Community content or features, including contributing false, misleading, or inauthentic content, is strictly prohibited.

I think we satisfied the first bullet by explaining that Durkee’s is an essential post-Thanksgiving component of our diet. Did we need to say why? Should we have gone into detail about its lubricating qualities, or how it’s a perfect compromise between mustard and mayonnaise?

We used to be a Vine reviewer, which gets you occasional free products in return for a promise to review them, but were kicked out of that program because we weren’t active enough. In Vine days any review we wrote was published instantly. Now there’s a lag of a couple days while they consider it. But this is the first one that’s been flat out rejected.

Amazon has lately gotten some bad press for the large proportion of fake reviews. Good for them if they’re cleaning up their act. But really, we do love Durkee’s that much. Guess we will just need to be a bit quieter about it to avoid those adult content triggers.