Texas Monthly BBQ guide jumps the shark

Goldees Pit Bosses

The pit bosses at Goldee’s in Fort Worth are all in their 20s. Ranked #1 in the new Texas Monthly BBQ guide.

The annual Texas Monthly BBQ guide is eagerly awaited by Texans near and far. Will Snow’s retain its top ranking, or will some upstart along the lines of Franklin in Austin upset the post oak woodpile? What old standbys have lost their luster as a pitmaster retires or is called to the great smokehouse in the sky, and who are the young bucks/buckettes who will emerge to replace them?

Well, the Texas Monthly BBQ guide for 2021 is a bit of a departure. Snow’s and Franklin are #9 and #7 respectively, Kreutz’ is the only Lockhart smoker listed (as an honorable mention), and Miklethwait and Louie Mueller don’t even crack the top 50. In their place is an assortment of places serving novelties like brisket elote—”Layers of creamed corn, chopped brisket, queso fresco, cilantro, and hot sauce are a full meal in a cup” at #10 Panther City BBQ, Laotian sausage—”take a chunk, mash it into a bit of sticky rice, and dunk the combo into the spicy-sour jeow som sauce” at #1 Goldee’s Barbecue and, God help us, “an array of Instagrammable desserts” at #3 Burnt Beans Co.

What in the world has gotten into BBQ Editor Daniel Vaughn, and his monk-like attention to temperature stalls, smoke rings and burnt ends? Well, therein lies the problem. According to Texas Monthly, 37 staffers and 3 freelancers visited 411 barbecue joints to compile a preliminary list, and the “most promising candidates were then revisited by either barbecue editor Daniel Vaughn or food writer Patricia Sharpe, or both, to determine the top ten.” Notice the “or” in that statement. Some of the top places were not even visited by the Texas Monthly barbecue guru.

Now, we understand these are tough times for traditional media, and Texas Monthly needs to appeal to a younger demographic to stay afloat. And establishments that serve the public must evolve as well. We grew up near the first 7-11 store in Dallas, which was referred to as “the ice house” by old-timers because that was their most important product when self-cooling refrigerators were a relative novelty. These days you can probably buy a bag of ice at 7-11, but you’d have to look for it.

Frankin Barbecue

An array of smoked meats from #7 Franklin. Not very Instagrammable, but mighty tasty.

But… barbecue is all about the meat. And while we love the sides (especially when the place takes a novel twist on a standard, like the poppy seed slaw and buttermilk pie at Miklethwait), they should never be allowed to steal the show from the main attraction which is the classic cuts of beef, pork, sausage, maybe chicken or turkey, prepared to the best of the pit boss’ ability.

It’s clear that the reviewers were entranced by the novelty of imaginative entrees and clever desserts (we refuse to use the I-label) and as a result they lost track of the reason they were reviewing. People travel long distances and wait in long lines in search of a transcendent BBQ experience and “sassy kimchi, vinegary braised cabbage and sausage, and terrific pork hash (a.k.a. rice with a meaty gravy) … [and] cheddar cheesecake with a dab of apple butter … worth a return visit” (at Leroy & Lewis, #5) ain’t it.

If you want to read the rankings in full, Texas Montly is behind a paywall but you get two articles for free. The top 10 is here, and the also rans here. Read fast, because we predict this will prove a one-year experiment and we’ll be back to the regular rankings in 2022. The one silver lining about this train wreck? For now, the lines are likely to be shorter at Snow’s.

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