Taco Bell Mexican Pizza.
There is a guy in town, an active Yelper (the good kind, who writes thoughtful and objective reviews rather than hit pieces and rants), who frequently Facebooks about his love for Taco Bell. When he announced with the excitement the return of the Taco Bell Mexican Pizza, I decided I had to try it.
It was awful.
Free sauces may be the real reason taco bell is popular. I asked for 2 of each variety and this is what I got.
I have always been a non-fan of Taco Bell while admiring their clever advertising and origin story. (There was an actual guy named Bell who had a fast food stand down the road from the original McDonald’s in San Bernardino, CA. He saw what the burger guy was doing and decide to copy the formula, but for tacos.) It seems to me they take a narrow set of ingredients and spices and combine them into endless products that all taste the same.
This Medium essay presents theories about why Taco Bell is so popular in their key demo (18-34 year olds), especially when they are drunk. It’s mostly about marketing. “People have come to respect the brand without them needing to increase the quality of their food.” (Italics and underlining mine.)
Which brings us to the Mexican pizza. It’s two tostadas stacked, with Taco Bell’s ubiquitous ground beef and beans between them and salsa and melted cheese on the top. The cheese oozes out into the serving tray making it impossible to eat. Pick it up? Cheese everywhere. Break into pieces like tortilla chips? The pieces fall apart in your hands. My order came with a fork, which I took as a clue. I deconstructed the tostadas with the fork then scooped the scraps to my mouth. It tasted like anything else from Taco Bell except the tostadas were rancid.
Nacho Cheese Doritos® Locos Tacos Supreme®.
Since I was there, I ordered their other millennial favorite, the Nacho Cheese Doritos® Locos Tacos Supreme®. It was better than the pizza; the hard shell was easy to manage and some lettuce and tomato add the impression of real food. (Supreme means you get a bit of tomato and a dribble of sour cream for 60¢ more than the non-supreme version.) These two items cost over $8 bucks which somewhat belies the Bell’s reputation for filling you up for under $5 but hey, you gotta respect the brand.
It’s lunchtime now and I’m headed to Chipotle. Or maybe Moe’s.
If you order the simplest things- like a soft taco, or a bean burrito (fresco style if possible) you can get something approaching real food. My main complaint though is the beans tend to be either soupy or full of lumps of dryness.
Doesn’t sound very appetizing.
“. ..These two items cost over $8 bucks…” Taco Bell? Arbys, McDs, et al? In the past some were cheap fast food. Now? It aint cheap, it aint fast, and it’s barely food.
Right? But there are still occasional deals if you look for them. I am a fan of the McGriddle and it is occasionally offered in the app for $1, one per day.